This needs to be addressed
I've been hearing them since November of 1963, the year I turned 13:
(fill in the blank) killed John F. Kennedy.
Ditto Robert Kennedy & Martin Luther King.
The moon landings were all faked.
Watergate was an attempt by Nixon to become permanent dictator.
Elvis Presley is alive.
The government had John Lennon murdered.
The government has covered up UFO landings and alien contact.
Haliburton, the CIA, major corporate interests, the oil companies, and the Bush family (take your pick) were behind 9/11.
There was an explosion at the Pentagon just before the plane hit.
And my personal favorite: Martin Bormann survived WWII, formed the Bormann Organization, and has consulted the CIA, ITT, & Haliburton.
We now stop for a dramatic pause.....
OK, the weather's hot and uncomfortable. Tempers are bound to run short. Understand what I'm about to say is said with the best of intentions and with the fond wish for peace and stability in society, and malice towards none:
I'VE BEEN HEARING YOUR DAMN CONSPIRACY THEORIES FOR DECADES NOW! IN ALL THAT TIME, NOT ONE, I REPEAT, NOT ONE CONSPIRACY HAS EVER BEEN PROVEN! NOT ONE! HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED TRYING TO PROVE ANY OF THEM INSTEAD OF WASTING PEOPLE'S TIME BLOWING HOT AIR WHILE GETTING YOUR BREADCRUMB OF PUBLICITY?
YOU'VE HAD NEARLY 45 FREAKIN' YEARS TO PROVE JFK WASN'T KILLED BY OSWALD! WHERE'S THE GODDAM PROOF? ISN'T 45 YEARS ADEQUATE TIME TO PROVE SOMETHING, OR ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE PUBLICITY COMING TO A HALT?
IF THE MOON LANDINGS WERE FAKED, DOES THAT ALSO MEAN THAT THEY FAKED APOLLO 13? DID THEY PUT THE CAPSULE ON A GIANT NAVY BLIMP, FLY IT ABOVE THE STRATOSPHERE, AND DROP IT INTO THE SEA? DID THEY USE MAKEUP ARTISTS TO MAKE THE ASTRONAUTS LOOK DISHELVED? DID THEY INJECT SOMETHING INTO ASTRONAUT FRED HAYES TO MAKE HIM SICK?
ALIEN AUTOPSY, WHICH THE ART BELLS OF THIS WORLD TOUTED AS THE MOST IMPORTANT EVIDENCE EVER, WAS PROVEN TO BE A FAKE!!! THE PRODUCERS OF THE FILM HAVE ADMITTED IT'S A FAKE! BESIDES, ALL YOU HAD TO DO TO FIGURE ALIEN AUTOPSY WAS A FAKE WAS TO LOOK AT THE DAMN CLOCK ON THE BACK WALL! THE TIME WAS INCONSISTENT WITH THE ORDER OF THE "ACTION"!
THERE AIN'T NO UFO'S WITH LITTLE GREEN MEN FROM THE PLANET GORKYTRON!! QUIT WATCHING SO DAMN MUCH SPIELBERG!!!
IF YOU SAY THAT SOME THINGS DIDN'T HAPPEN THE WAY THEY WERE REPORTED, THEN FOR GOD'S SAKE, PROVE IT, OR PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, SHUT THE F**K UP!!!
puff, pant.
There. I have finally vented. Thank you for your attention to this matter.